What I'm not willing to do (aka social media breakup post)
As you may know, I'm currently finishing up a nonfiction book proposal that I'll submit to publishers in the hopes that one will want to publish it. I can't wait to share this book with you!
Part of the proposal process involves explaining to publishers what sort of "platform" you have for getting the word out about your book. This aspect has been a struggle for me because many of the things publishers want to see from prospective authors (social media followers, influencer status, and a never-ending stream of content, hopefully some of which has gone viral) are things I definitely don't have. In fact, I haven't even attempted to go this route because:
1) it's better for my own mental health and wellbeing, and
2) I don't want to contribute more to an already very noisy digital environment.
I feel really good about this decision for me as a human being, but I honestly have no idea whether this will prevent me from becoming a traditionally-published author. I've been working with a coach to explore different ways to build a platform in a way that feels more authentic to me.
My coach suggested I consider starting a Substack. I immediately had some hesitation but tried to convince myself that it's just a writing platform, like the old days of blogging. I wrote my Thinking Yogi blog monthly for ten years and loved that process. So sure, I told myself. Substack. Yes, I can do this.
But yesterday I was exploring Substack and my internal social media detection system went haywire: Warning! Warning! Wolf in sheep's clothing!
Phew. So glad this happened before I went any further down that road. It also offered much needed clarity about how I generally want to proceed with project platform-building and what the potential positive and negative impacts are for me and my publishing ambitions.
After months of brainstorming with my coach and struggling with how to fit the very square peg of myself into this round hole, I've decided to approach the getting-the-word-out process in a less strategic, but more wholehearted way. Instead of trying to generate likes, of planning out posts with some overarching strategy or funnel in mind, I'm going to share my writing and my teaching videos in ways that don't force my reader or virtual student to buy into the very systems I've found so harmful.
Social media makes me feel bad. It doesn't matter how I try to engage with it—just seeing that ubiquitous format negatively impacts me. I decided a long time ago to reduce my exposure to those feeds, and it has been the best thing I've done for my mood.
It's true that not being on social media means missing content, but I simply don't buy the rationalization that I "have to be on social media." Usually the important stuff makes its way to me eventually. And, no offense, a lot of the content on there is likely not that important to begin with.
Time is so precious, especially in this phase of my life with running businesses, writing a book, prioritizing time with my sweet family, and squeezing in time for hobbies and self-care. Saying no to obligatory social media gives me time back to spend in other ways besides scrolling.
I've been doubling down on slower, more analog ways of being. There are the usual suspects: rolling out my yoga mat, getting out in nature, exercise, writing, meditation. But also, I've been playing lots of piano, spending more time reading physical books, cooking and doing chores without always plugging my ears with a podcast, keeping my phone out of sight when I'm with other humans and letting notifications build up for longer before responding to them.
Analog feels really good. I highly recommend it!
This is a total experiment. I have no idea whether making these choices will hinder my hopes for a traditional publication process. But I'm loving how it feels and I'm relieved to have clarity on what I'm willing to do vs. not willing to do to achieve that goal.
What are you willing to do and not willing to do for your own wellbeing?
